Saturday, August 16, 2008

I think she knows that soon she'll be losing her 'control' over me, that's why lately she's been trying to tighten her reins on me. Yes, I know I've been out more often lately, and sometimes late. She's unhappy that I'm home late on some occasions. I've always tried to make it before 1am, if not as early as I can. Till now, I can still count with my 2 hands how many times I've reached home after 3am.

But no matter what, I always make sure I have my means of getting back home. And when I'm going to be late, I even let her know beforehand so that she won't wait up for me (let's ignore the fact that sometimes she purposely wait for me in her bid to try and make me guilty).

Most importantly, it shows just how much trust she has in me. You mean you cannot trust the friends I choose? I will mix with bad company and pick up bad habits is it? Can't I differentiate between work and play?

I've worked my entire holidays, 12 weeks, and not had much of a break except for the BKK trip. So since sch work is still trickling in can't I steal time on my off days and go out? In fact, when I count back, I've been working every holiday since I came back from France, last summer... which means no proper 'break'.

I can respect why she doesn't want me to go HK, and I've left it at that when I know I can fight for it. But surely she should know now that I'm 21, a final year student about to graduate... my circle of friends and social activities have evolved?! Is she going to like cage me up or what? Its only the 2nd week of sch, I am sensible enough to know when I should start studying!

I can accept that when I was kid... why do I have to be the earliest to leave birthday parties... the only one who can't stayover... and blah blah. But increasingly her calls when I was out is getting irritating. 'Ya, that was my mum'. And she calls for the most silliest reason when her real purpose was just to know if I'm on my way home. So ya, at 21, this is getting too much. I'm not asking her to wash her hands off me... but just... respect my personal space.

So yeah, just now was the last draw. I picked up her 2nd call. After that I msged my brother and off my phone. I know she'll call, let her then... I told him in the msg that she shld just go slp and stop calling me. The bigger a fuss she makes the later I'll be home. You may see it as me being a bad daughter, worrying my mum like that... deliberately cutting off her means of contacting me. I don't care!

That day I already said, I'm putting up with her because I'm still studying and I know she's concerned about my final year. Looks like I'm being tested for my endurance here. Just now I saw her at the balcony but I just went on to washing up. So, tml morning if she wants to say her piece... ok then!

Its been very long since I've felt my temper boiling within. I'm keeping it down because I don't want a quarrel with her. But if she picks up her fight, I can jolly well pack my stuff and do it outside. Rot at some Macs then.

Doesn't she know... Just like a rubber band, if you stretch it too hard, I'll just snap.

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