cousin just approached me with this job opportunity. long term part time as a coordinator for entrepreneurs. the pay is good. but that's not what I was attracted to. it was the exposure and of cos the effect that it will have on my CV. yeah, I'm practical... anything wrong with that?

But honestly, 2-3 hrs everyday... Its not for me... I am not that efficient in my studies. Unfortunately I happen to be those who have to wk doubly (and maybe even more) hard for results which some people can achieve quite effortlessly. by this i of cos do not mean that they did not work hard for it, but their brains are just damn smart. So I really do not think I will be able to do this, besides, its long-term... It also doesn't help that I am not as motivated to study/mug like last time in NH.

I am starting to question myself... What do I want to achieve for myself? How come when such an opportunity jumps at me I didn't take it... I worry it'll affect my grades, but it actually isn't much to worry abt anyway. What's a 2nd lower honours worth?

then cousin started asking me have i tot abt my job, my future. What do i want to do? What kind of job do I want? What path to take? My answer was for now I just want to get gd grades, better grades... cos I haven really tot abt it. Though I've been looking out for career talks abt HRC in sch, it doesn't really count I guess... But he urged me to think more abt it and not be caught in the rat race like everyone else...

I know he meant well but I'm kinda stressed by him. Suddenly find myself very cynical. Very negative and discouraged to continue reading the stupid article. I hate things like this. Feelings like this. Too bad eug's slping... could have grumbled to him... or just talked abt it...

Feel lousy abt everything, including myself.